Reconciling Resolutions and Contentment
I’ve never been one for New Years Resolutions, it always seemed like the best way to fail; too much pressure or something like that. I am inspired by a resolution for change whenever it is needed and arrived at in a way that makes it most possible; for those of you that study the tradition, hear Yama and Niyama. It turns out that I am most interested in resolutions that take into account how I work and what I am working for. The philosophies of Yoga have much to say about who we are and how we work and neuroscience is starting to catch on too. I am here for this intersection!
The Yoga tradition informs me deeply about WHAT I am working for; sensitivity, honesty, generosity, contentment, passionate study…CONTENTMENT. This is what I would like to talk about now. How does one reconcile all of the “self improvement of resolutions” with the idea of contentment?
The very first line in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali says “Yoga happens now”, in the present moment. The tradition has much to say about Presence and that it is the key to any other principles that comes later. If we can’t access the present moment and spend most of our energy assessing the past or planning the future, how can we even feel the present and accept it; contentment? But if we get into the moment at hand, this very one happening right now…maybe.
Then I read in this book about habit formation, written by a contemporary neurobiologist, that hormonally our brains are “happiest” when what the mind is thinking on and what the body is doing are aligned…wait for it…EVEN IF THE TASK AT HAND IS CONSIDERED UNDESIRABLE BY THE THINKER.
If we can align what we are doing with what we are thinking we find a hormonal state (think serotonin, dopamine, melatonin, etc) that is reflective of happiness and therefor a habit is much more easily formed. I mean sure, that’s not groundbreaking is it? Well it might be if we consider the second part of the statement.
If I can stay present to a cup of coffee with someone I hold dear I will cultivate happiness and contentment. Yep, heard that before. But can I stay present to an afternoon with a family member that I find closed minded and offensive? Or do I fall into all sorts of judgements that take me away from being in exactly what is; that take me out of relationship with reality? I know the later is often what happens to me, as fast as lightening strikes, and a sense of contentment is NOT how I would describe that experience.
So…..
How do I work? Well I get real quick on to making judgements and trying to “fix” things so that they are a bit more to my liking; feeling quite justified that I am right and taking me out of relationship with the current reality.
What am I working for? To be more content with what is, to feel a sense of contentment, maybe happiness, even when it doesn’t go my way.
So the resolution may be, according to neuroscience, to work on reconciling what I am doing, with what I am thinking. And according to the Yogic tradition, cultivating Presence.
Here’s a few tools I use.
For 3, 5, 7 mins hold your attention on your breath, no matter how many times you get distracted. Just return attention to your breath. Sit, stand, wash the dishes; do it any time.
Get sunlight in your eyes upon waking for 5-15 minutes so your sleep/wake cycles are harmonized and you feel capable of working with your attention; it is not an easy task and support will be required.
Visualize yourself, in great detail, when performing a new habit that you are trying to create. In this case it may be a detailed visualization of the exercise in number 1. Or maybe it is another new habit you are interested in. This small gesture is best utilized at the onset of a new habit, and really any time you struggle with motivation. The key here is visualizing IN GREAT DETAIL.
